I began to write this article at Christmas 2012.
It was cold outside Toys R Us store waiting for the family finishing up shopping for Christmas. I took out a cigarette and lighted, I moved to the far side of the entrance, next to one of these trash can for the smoke not to fly to close to the door. I was alone, the one and only with a cigarette in hand, people walked by avoid looking at me. Everyone has this “second hand smoke kills” notion in their heads and they totally despite the “smoking breed”.
I don’t smoke much, 4-5 cigarettes a day for many years now. I never thought it was cool to smoke, I never smoked in high school, I started smoking in college, but according to Freud, it’s just a sexual gesture of some kind. It’s psychological, habit, chemical dependency, whatever it is, I like to smoke when I’m nervous, after coffee, meals, sex… etc.
In CA or US, the smoking breed is shrinking, people totally discriminate the smokers, yes, you smokers move away to a designated area. Freedom of smoking is limited now. People are dying left and right due to cancer, all types, and since smoking is smelly, tag one to it.
I always put my cigarette butts in the trash or ash trays, but I do see people throw them all over the place. Are most smokers irresponsible?
The people are so mean these days, even with the cleaner air they breath (less smokers now than ever before), but the hostility toward something they don’t like is growing. They make smokers feel like it’s a crime or being handicapped.
A guy walked by, happy to see me smoking, he took out his cigarette, lighted and took a long puff, he’s found a friend. Two of us were puffing away in the dark, by the trash, enjoying the smelly smoke while people walked by disgusted or feeling sorry for the “dying breed”.
I haven’t had a smoke since the first of January this year, one more out of the dying breed. I decided not to smoke because I don’t want to smell bad, especially in the winter months. I don’t want to hide from my kids and get caught sometimes “daddy is smoking”. I just want to show that there’s no nicotine dependency associate with smoking. It’s just habit. Yes, when I’m bored or nervous, I want something in my hand, stop being bored and nervous (not likely), just get through without lighting up a cigarette. Yes, I do eat more now, gaining weight, but that’s OK. I still drink coffee but no need smoke. After meals, I eat ice cream instead of smoking.
The notion of quitting cigarette really scares me, I do believe the public pressure did push me to quit smoking, one of my freedom was eliminated. What’s next? California air is cleaner due to high tax in special gas, green energy, eliminating smokers… but the atmosphere is so heavy with hostilities and discrimination toward all kinds that are politically incorrect.
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