Amy Chua – Tiger Mom

I received an email from my older sister recommended to Google “Amy Chua” and I did. I couldn’t wait to give some of my opinions about this “Amy Chua”. I think my sister considered herself as one of those “superior” mom since her daughter graduated at USC and doing very well.

Wow, I only heard of all these great universities since my nephew & nieces were to the age of attending colleges. Amy Chua is a Yale Law Professor. She wrote quite a few books.

“A country must have tolerance toward diversity if it wants to achieve global dominance, says bestselling author and globalization expert Amy Chua.” read article

The United States would be far truer to its own history and principles striving to be an exemplar of the world — a “city on the hill” — rather than arrogating to itself the sisyphean task of remaking societies around the world in its own image. read article

I do agree with these, but the ones that my sister really want to refer to are these.

“The horror is easy to explain. Here is a mother who subjected her children to an obsessive-bordering-on-abusive level of duress in pursuit of superlative performance, not just in school but in music. Among other strictures, her girls “were never allowed … not to be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama” and also never allowed not to play the piano or violin.”read article

“A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:” read article

I don’t agree with most of the ideas because

“There’s a dark side to Asian Pacific America. The intensity of immigrant aspiration can feed it just as much as it feeds our other sides.”read article.

“Just what kind of Chinese mother is Amy Chua?” read article.

“One evening in 1990, Eliza Noh hung up the phone with her sister. Disturbed about the conversation, Noh immediately started writing a letter to her sister, a college student who was often depressed. “I told her I supported her, and I encouraged her,” Noh says. But her sister never read the letter. By the time it arrived, she’d killed herself.”read article.

6 years ago, when my first daughter was born. I and my wife wanted to be a total “Asian” parents, we let our daughter play with the computer when she’s not even 2 year old, kindergarten cds when she’s close to 3 and got mad when she couldn’t count or recognized the sequence or patterns of the game on the screen. Our daughter cried. I was blessed to realize when I was 3-5 year old, I didn’t have to do anything like this, I’d played with dirt, toys, laughed, fooled around and be a total little boy, why I was doing all these terrible things to our cute, happy little daughter and later with a little son.

My kids don’t like to play any musical instruments, my daughter like drawing, making figurines, dancing and pink. A few months ago, she started talking about slumber parties but she hasn’t had any yet, we will be happy to accommodate whenever she’s ready. The only disciplines we have for our kids are doing homework, be nice to one another, listen to mom, be friendly with people and tidy up when mom asks.

I don’t consider I’m an under-achiever or mediocrist, I don’t live in a prominent neighborhood, but I believe I have a very well and contented life with my family even in tough times like these. I went to city college and state university and I’m considered to be an elite engineer. I don’t play any musical instruments, but I draw, paint and write whenever I please, I played with dirt and friends when I was young, sports, girls when I was single, I play with my family when I got married, I have a great and respectable job in my company. I have no regrets on what I haven’t done or tried in my life. I wish my daughter and son could have a life at least the same or better than me. I believe if the kids are brought up in a SANE, WITTY, OUTGOING, SOCIABLE, HAPPY and LOVING environment, they will succeed in whatever they do in their lives.

I just want to make sure my kids won’t kill themselves because they got dumped for the first time by boyfriend or girlfriend. They must know there’s nothing so bad that they have to kill themselves, they’re always loved by their families and relatives. We are always there for them, they should know and felt that life is wonderful. How can kids feel life is wonderful if being in the family is like being in jail or hell house. They must be lovable to everyone so they will never feel lonely or left out.

I only hear about these great universities when my nieces and nephews started to graduate from high school. The parents have stress about money, the kids about SAT scores, school selections… well, I think my kids will go to city colleges, university to get some BS or BA, if they want to go higher, be merrier. They should have my outgoing, sense of humor, and my wife’s intelligence genes to be better than being mediocre.

Good or bad parenting are seen through the children well beings. As long as my kids are happy, smiling, snorting a lot, asking the funny but extremely hard to answer questions, loving, doing the good things, be sociable and not afraid of trying new things, I believe we’re good.

And to my older sister, thanks for the “Amy Chua” hint.

Here is ……….. George Carlin… have some laughs… unless… Sense of humor doesn’t exist in your life.

Cheers and hope we’re all great parents relatively,

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